Roller coaster tuesday...

this morning at like 10:30 my room got buzzed 8 thousand times...and no one else was home, after i avoided the first million buzzes, the second rain of them began and i had to actually get up, tell them whoever they wanted wasn't here...turns out ryan left her phone and she wanted to see if someone would bring it to up to school...grrr...i got back to sleep. and at noon i was woken by the news of a new Pope, i then went to 501 to watch Pope coverage. ate some food, and i wasn't feelin great so i layed back down. passed out, until about ten minutes after i was supposed to leave. rushed out. got up to school...shitty session...didn't cry while i was there, waited until i got outside....it should be easier just to let this shit stay inside, letting it out is killing me, especially with the other shit going on in my head. ugh...everyone's opinion is the same, cept maybe erik...but if the majority wins, then i guess i know what i'm doing. i'm torn, but i know what the right decision is, i just don't know if i really can make it...i don't know if i really am ready to be happy...if i can avoid ruining it now whats the chance i won't at some point...ugh...face the past, and the future...all at the same time...
ugh...

"we know everything must have an end, we can't pretend its so nice of you to stick around"