an age (bits)

it has been an age since i last blogged. or at least it seems that way. right now i'm tired, stephen just left a little while ago and i miss him like hell already. i hate the leaving, its the worst part. right before he left i was showing him old pictures from trips and days and people that seem forever away. in the whole mess of things ther's probably three people in those pictures i've talked to in the last week, one of them thoroughly against my will in his late night phone calls, most of which i've been asleep for the past few days. a hundred other people i haven't talked to, don't talk to anymore, and 99% of which i barely know now. pictures of birthdays, one i just had to verify was my 14th...wow, five years ago, and the people in those pictures don't even exist in my life anymore. good memories though...the bad fade, if i've learned anything, its that you'll never be able to remember what it was you fought about back then, and if you do remember, you can't begin to understand why something so ridiculous was worth the end of a friendship, what you do remember, are the laughs, the good times you had, and all of the person's great qualities, and those by far i miss the most. little pieces of you die which each friend you lose, and every friend changes you, little pieces of me are scattered through the years, and they keep falling off. so don't stop calling, or writing, or iming, even in the middle of the night when you're high off your ass...because it still means something to me, that you still care, and because i don't know how many more bits of me i can afford to lose.