2007

i'm not in the mood for a year end wrap up survey full of stupid questions about how i think this year went and how next year is going to go. i really can't even believe 2007 will be over in merely hours. last year i was reading a dirty job and trying to finish it before midnight, the year before i was at amanda nicole's with stephen, and before that at the qfr with scotty ross eating waffles with ice cream. i've never thought it was a big deal, new years resolutions and all of that, this year i have goals for 2008, but i won't be making any ridiculous resolutions. its strange, laying here, i'm not worried about all the things i usually am, i'm content. this year wasn't the easiest, money has been tight a consequence of trying to make it half way on my own. i owe a lot to mayelyn, even if we don't always get along and things get tough, she's really been an important part of my life this year, and hopefully will be for years to come. i've found out a lot about myself this year, through my relationships, through the friends i've made, gotten closer to, lost touch with or stopped talking to all together. I spent less time in new york than i would've liked to, but the time i did was mostly awesome. i saw some great concerts, bandcamp of course and permenant me 3 or 4 times, stroke 9 topped them all most definitely maybe one of the best shows i've ever been to. i smoked too much and had some crazy drunken nights, spent 80% of my life on the phone. i beat a harvest moon game for the first time ever, (rune factory) got on and off addicted to animal crossing. didn't go to the movies nearly as much as i would've liked to. the phillies made the playoffs, even if they did get swept in the first round, they still beat out the mets for the division. i met abe. and the past seven months, though the whole long distance deal is not ideal, and most of the time is complete torture, i can't see my life without him in it, my mom doesn't get how i can spend entire days and entire nights on the phone, but time passes like nothing and he makes me so happy. i can't say for sure what the future holds, i've never been good at thinking things are going to turn out alright, but sometimes i catch myself in one of those moments, where i'm completely happy, like in reality bites when wynona ryder and ben stiller have that conversation about big gulps and astronomy and fleeting moments of happieness in life. sometimes they're hard to see through all the tears, because i'm forever the emo kid. i remember my mom saying when i was in high school that hopefully i'd grow out of all my moodiness and depression, like things would just snap in to place somehow. that didn't happen, and i'm still not well adjusted or even always functional, but there have been more good days than bad this year i think. ok enough with the rambling before the laptop crashes and i loose all of this.
to all of you, to the loved and the lost and everyone stuck in the middle tryin to get through, here's to 08 being at least a little bit better, with a bunch more inside jokes and mst style commentary, maybe a few less cigarettes, and something tangible to make all of this waiting worth something....