prime

i'm not going to review the movie. it was a very funny movie, with a bittersweet ending, much like that of a movie like closer, but the whole movie was laugh out loud hysterical. what i really want to say is the movie depressed me. in 2 ways. it made me miss gayle (my therapist at school) and it made me miss manhattan, like whoa. like, i watch a lot of movies in new york, i watch a lot of law and order which is in new york, but something about that movie, they went to magnolia...i dunno. but as funny as the movie was i ended up leaving throughly depressed. thinking about therapy. thinking about how i still need it desperately. and i went home and was talking to a friend online, about my trust issues, my problems with feeling secure, and its all running through my head again, its all an issue. i don't even feel safe in my skin right now. and we all know what me not feeling safe in my skin leads to. it still doesn't help. someday i'll actually get it through my thick skull that it never will, but right now, its back to a coping thing. my voice is horse, i don't know, like i think the cold i had moved to my chest or something, so i don't really feel like talking at all. i'm not really hungry, though i haven't eaten much in the past few days, just don't feel like eating. i guess its sunday which means football and stuff, but i may just go back upstairs. our dog is going blind. i think they should get her put to sleep. but i won't even suggest it becasue i know they won't listen to me. whatever.