Here we go again...

Its been a while...about a year...but here's to trying.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Cheese Shuffle

yay. my mom got me an ipod shuffle for christmas. i shall call him cheese shuffle and he shall be mine and he shall be my cheese shuffle.
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happy holidays<3

Saturday, December 17, 2005

warning...this is what they call suicidal ideation

its 2am. i'm listening to matchbox twenty, which comes right after matchbook romance on the itunes, imagine that. i'm completely upset for no good reason, and before you say it...yes you've heard this all before. and no i haven't done anything to better my situation. i never do anything to make it better. i'm probably making it worse on purpose. because i'm stuck in some imaginary cage of my own creation and i'm trapped. i lost the goddamn key. i don't even know why i'm posting...no one (yes stephen and amanda, i know you read it, i'm sorry, but you are the only ones) reads this goddamn blog anyway, who would want to, i never say anything original, or witty, or entertaining. i ramble. and its usually an unhappy rambling. why the fuck can't you just be happy, you may ask...i don't know...i wish i could figure it out to. i'm seriously considering hardcore drug use, but somehow, i doubt that's going to help at all, and i can't really get a feel for it. i can't even get a feel for smoking. so i'll just take a few sleeping pills and wake up around 1pm, to the scary house i live in, with the parents who don't even like eachother. and i'll just keep going...because i'll never actually break beyond where i am right now. and if you've stuck around this long and not given up...i don't know why...i gave up on myself a long time ago.

.......somehow rob thomas even before he sold out isn't helping right now...........

Monday, December 12, 2005

its probably almost Christmas or something

so i know i haven't posted in almost a month. even when amanda nicole complained i still didn't post. i haven't really been writing...here and there, i have about a page an a half of some really shitty short stories that aren't worth reading. i'd say it was pathetic, but i don't really care enough. so its getting to be that whole Christmas time thing again. the malls are packed with people buying presents for people they don't even like the rest of the year. i'm stuck somewhere between completely depressed and slightly amused. i don't know what i'm doing for the holiday, i've been invited to Stephen's family's but...who knows what would happen if i wasn't here...they might have to be completely miserable without me. i still haven't talked to my mother, she had emailed me at some point, but i decided to ignore it at the time. now i'm not really sure what i want to do. this past weekend was pretty awesome. i saw a really great show, still have one weekend left so i suggest if you can go catch it, ran into a friend i hadn't seen in forever and generally just had a good time. though at the end of the lincoln tunnel my happiness always fades...my mind starts to wander to places that aren't as wonderful. i miss the same few people, they're in and out of my thoughts, i hide inside comic books (i'm really addicted to anything dark horse-star wars right now) and cds i play over and over again. i write down/type out funny quotes from whatever...amanda nicole called me a quote whore...and she's right. i'm counting down to baseball on my profile, only like 114 days left til opening day. i had a gingerbread latte and a peppermint mocha over the weekend, its good theres not a starbucks in any relative proximity, or i'd probably never leave, and over draw my bank account. i don't know if i have that much else to say, except probably cheese.
here's a list of things you should do if you have time to kill:
~watch Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
~go see Capote at your local independent theatre
~read Catcher in the Rye again...because if you haven't read it already, you don't even deserve to be reading this blog...
~listen to unorthodox Christmas songs, i recomend BNL, anything off A Santa Cause, and They Might Be Giants (you may request a copy of A Very Amanda Christmas, my own mix, by leaving a message for me)
~check out the aforementioned Dark Horse Star Wars comics (i'm currently reading Dark Empire II)
~pump gas in liters or litres...but only if you're on the metric system
~dress up your pet and take its picture...and then send me copies...this is the only season where i'm for the exploitation of animals.
~eat non processed cheese
~try to avoid the completely capitalist and commercialized holiday celebration....(haha i know...it was a good joke though)

i'll try to blog more in the coming weeks...there's always the end of year wrap up to worry about and all.
 
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