more lyrics

i can't say what i'm feeling...or thinking...talked to dan, erik...its funny the people you end up trusting...

Light In Your Eyes, by Blessed Union of Souls

I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love you"s were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see,
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free

I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known girl
It was time and not space you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in Hell or Heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away

It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
Did you get my letter I wrote you that I did not send
I tried to call your old number
But the voice that I heard on the phone
I recognized but she told me the number was wrong

There's a light in my eyes it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

mostly misery

i can't sleep in anymore
not past 10:30 in over a week.
listening to death cab, because i randomly came across a song i had that erik sent me ages ago and decided i really like it...downloaded more.
not trying hard enough to just be okay.
easier to just die inside.
on the up side...
ben and jerry's brought back dublin mudslide
a favorite of last summer.
missing rachel.
and other people.
disturbing dream...so many people in it...people i haven't seen in ages...
no one around to hang out with...
writing a letter with a calligraphy pen
one that i most likely won't send.
phils won yesterday...and those bosox kicked some yankee ass...
why isn't that enough?
i miss the ams...bordo...angelica...corn boy...
wish i had a car
a job
a future
a friend...

R.I.P

While I was in Jersey last night our dog Sammee passed away...he was old, like over 20 we think, which is really old for a dog.
If you don't know, we inherited (well my dad and stepmother) the dogs, Friskee and Sammee, when my grandmother died almost four years ago.
My grandmother got him when i was 3 or 4, it has to be this early because not only were my parents still together but i think my grandfather was still alive as well, and his first owner had been really mean and abused him, so he wasn't the kindest dog. if you petted him the wrong way, which 4 year olds tend to do he was a biter...my mom got really mad at my grandmother when the dog bit me the first time, and my grandmother yelled at me. (oh my wonderful childhood). after my parents split and my dad had lived with my grandmother for a while he moved to south jersey for work for like 8 months or something, and that's when Sammee ran away. my grandmother used to take the dogs up to the mall to pick my dad up from work when his car wasn't working. a women found Sammee on 309, he had been gone for about five days, my grandmother thought that he missed my dad because he hadn't been around and went looking for him. after he came back he was a lot more docile, and nicer, though when my younger cousins messed around with him and pulled his tail, he still tended to bite, hell if you pulled my tail i'd bite too. i remember when my dad lived with my grandmother, and had his space on the third floor, when i would sleep over, Sammee would trot all the way up there an bark to wake us up. he hasn't been doing well for a while now, i'm not going to nitpick at how badly the dogs are taken care of here...it doesn't really matter, but he was really old, and now...he's gone.
well, at least we know all dogs go to heaven...man i kind of wish i had that movie for this occasion, its a good movie...

Rest In Peace Sammee

not puddle of mudd

i heard this song on zzo last night, and i thought it was puddle of mudd, but its nickelback, kind of a bummer, but i still like it...

Feelin Way Too Damn Good
by Nickelback

I missed you so much that I begged you to fly in and see me
You must've broke down 'cause you finally said that you would
But now that you're here I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming
'Cause something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling' way too damn good

For 48 hours I don't think that we left my hotel room
Should show you the sights 'cause I'm sure that I said that I would
We gotta make love just one last time in the shower
Well something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like
Every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
'Cause something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling way too damn good
Feelin' way too damn good

Sometimes I think best if left in the memory
It's better kept inside than left for good
Looking back each time they tried to tell me
Well somethings gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like
Every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
'Cause something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling way too damn good
Feelin' way too damn good

I missed you so much that I begged you to fly in and see me
You must've broke down 'cause you finally said that you would
But now that you're here I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming
'Cause something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling' way too damn good

And it's like
Every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
'Cause something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling way too damn good
Feelin' way too damn good

I missed you so much that I begged you to fly in and see me
Feelin' way too damn good
I missed you so much that I begged you to fly in and see me

hair cut

today i got a hair cut...like 4 inches off the length and then layers...here's some low quality cam photographs for you =)

your mom goes to college (a freshman year wrap up)

excuse my napoleon quote...i finally watched that movie and now i'm obsessssed....lol.
ok time for a wrap up of freshman year at fairymount:

my fav. moment according to alex's board in the hall:
"get away from my fucking trash can" and bec repeating the story...(in case you don't know this story, i yelled out that quote in my sleep and woke bec up and freaked everyone out...it was good times)

other great times:
christine says fuck for the first time,
christine burps twice...the first 2 times ever,
billy from good charlotte touched my hand on trl,
lots of random crazy shit i did that made everyone worry and freak out,
making friends with people like rebecca, chelsea, george, stevie d, dan, susan, jason, chritine j, christine and bec (who are awesome after i got past my own shit), gina, jamie, and anyone else i forgot...
walks in the park,
magnolia and buttercup...yummy,
pax with mitch (miss her so much, who wants to go to worchester this summer?),
going all over the place...phils games at shea, the bronx for that guy i used to date...staten island for who the hell knows what...brooklyn for an erin volley ball game and something i'd rather not talk about, long island...<3,>
ah, who could forget espn and aquateen at judes...very awesome...
comic book stores (st. marks, midtown, forbidden planet),
food...too much to list (pizza from angelos with anchovies and greek olivessssssss),
school...well at least paulie pauls class last semester, and media this one just because jamie rocks and we talked about porn all the time...lol.
dan and i roughhousing...because it was funny.

there were ups and downs but in the end it was all worth it, i lived, loved, laughed and learned...somthing like that was what mr. walker wrote in my year book...i need to make a happy high visit soon...

barmaid play me some buffet, i'm in the mood to get away

today while i did my laundry i was playing "songs you know by heart" by jimmy buffet. i love him...maybe because its kind of summer now, but i dunno...just makes me feel good...and lost in that happy summer fun is some meaning, or something that meant something to me...so here we go with lyrics again...i know i've started lyric posting again...i hadn't in a long while.

Come Monday, by Jimmy Buffet
Headed up to San Francisco
For the Labor Day weekend show
I got my Hush Puppies on
I guess I never was meant for glitter rock & roll
And honey, I didn't know that I'd be missin' you so
Come Monday, it'll be alright
Come Monday, I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
And I just want you back by my side
Yes, it's been quite a summer
Rental cars & west bound trains
And now you're off on vacation
Some thing that you tried to explain
Yes, since I love you so
That's the reason I just let you go
Come Monday, it'll be alright
Come Monday, I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
And I just want you back by my side
I can't help it honey
You're that much part of me now
Remember that night in Montana
When we said there'd be no room fo doubt
I hope your enjoying the scenery
I know that it's pretty up there
Yeah, we can go hiking on Tuesday
With you I'd walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can't wait to see you again
Come Monday, it'll be alright
Come Monday, I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
And I just want you back by my side
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
And I just want you back by my side

i suck at golf

there's a font on my computer(which is currently stacked at various locations around the house) called "i suck at golf" well today i really do. after going to qmart, where i got a kansas album and centerfiled by john fogerty on vinyl, and then stopping at my mom's to pick up the rest of my LPs, and then going to KFC, luis and big scott and i went mini golfing at mulligans (that place behind the whitehall walmart) where i shot an illustrious 71, on a par 40 course...o yes i suck hardcore (man i miss christine...i can't believe it, she was really getting on my nerves the past few weeks too), but i did get a hole in one...which was a total fluke most likely, but it was still fun. we had a decent time out today, even though i'm really sleepy, because last night i couldn't really fall asleep until 4am...ugh, that sucked, believe you me. my dad got me harvest moon save the homeland for PS2, but i'm still trying to figure it out, i played for a little while this morning and its definitely pretty complicated. i'm planning to play some more when my dad goes to sleep tonight. when i stopped at my moms no one was really there, but i saw the cat, wished him a belated happy birthday, he got really fat or something, he's just not tiny anymore...its odd. well that's about it, phils won today...though we traded marlon byrd for some triple a fuck, ugh i'm really starting to hate the front office and management more than i did before...bahhh anyway, i'm gonna stop rambling...i have a feeling i'll be posting a lot...lol

hours

i have aproximately 63 hours left in the city i love. after that i return to the home i don't. theres a lot going on in my head and elsewhere, but i can't get into it...i can't cry in public anymore...i really wish i could just run the fuck out of tears...i'm so sick of crying, being emotional, i long for apathy. dan and i had a conversation about apathy today. i told him about chad morrow...the most apathetic kid i ever knew...to date. i sort of had some communication with a very old former friend today...it kind of felt good...that i'm in a place where i don't hate her anymore. i realized this a few days ago mid breakdown, she just popped into my mind...and i was like...i'm not angry with her anymore...its so useless that i had all that anger for so long...we were so young. i mean...it was only like three years ago, but still, it seems like a century ago with all thats happened, the tragedy, the other stuff...all the shit i've done even this past school year....crazy...well in the end...who knows...ramble ramble ramble...

this is a great song...i listened to emerson drive all day...<3>

Lemonade, by Emerson Drive

Called in sick to the coffee shop
Said let's go someplace the weather is hot
Bought two plane tickets and called a yellow cab
Drank all our money at beachside bars
Took pictures of each other smokin' cheap cigars
Stole a blanket from the hotel room and slept on the sand
We held the world like a glass of lemonade
It tasted sweet
Oh, man we had it made

Chorus:
Didn't we laugh, weren't we brave
Wasn't it cool actin' like fools
With nothing in our way
Picture in a frame, deep blue sky
You and I stuck in time like
We would never fade
baby why'd we have to change

Did we get old or too grown up
To do anything just because
Just because we just don't give a damn
Oh, when did we get so serious
What happened to that part of us
Baby can you help me out, I don't understand
We held the world like a glass of lemonade
It tasted sweet
Oh man, we had it made

Chorus

Look at us in the photograph
So beautifully naive
I want it back

Chorus

Let's call in sick and leave this town
Don't matter where we go let's just go now
I'm thirsty for a glass of lemonade

Tea and Sympathy for the Phillies

Thursday my dad, rebecca and i went to the phillies game, and on mothers day my mom and i went to this place called tea and sympathy in the west village for afternoon tea...it was a lot of fun...pictures:

My daddy and I

Rebecca and I

J. Mike in the dugout

another dugout shot

pat the bat

Chase Utley, the man at second

Tea and Sympathy

At the corner of Jane Street and Greenwich Ave.

Tea Potssss

Our tea, mine Mango, mom's chai

The afternoon tea for 2 service

pants

i have this pair of pants, a men's 32x30, i don't understand men's pants sizes so i don't know what that means, except that they don't fit me, they once belonged to someone very skinny. every time i come across this pair of pants i've forgotten that they've been in my posession. this time they were at the bottom of one of those bins underneath my bed, i was cleaning them out to try and get stuff ready to leave. i don't know why i brought them to school with me, i guess for posterity or something. i don't remember packing them. part of me wants to toss them down the trash shoot, so i never come across them again, but there will always be a piece of me that hangs on, that won't let go. even now at this moment when love has re-entered my life. i was picking junk off of my floor, because it always builds up there, i'm a mess, and the pants were lying there, after i found them in the bin i cast them aside without too much thought. tonight i picked them up and held them too me, closely, still searching for some answer i'll never find, some answer that doesn't exist.

someday...maybe...

"the pitcher puts religion first and rests on holidays"

well...last night stephen and i went to the mets/phillies game at shea, and after a two hour rain delay full of cuddling, the mets beat the phillies 5-1...and i don't like charlie manuel at all...and if we don't make the playoff this year they'll have fired bowa for no reason. phils won tonight though 10-3...crazy...can we not balance out how many runs we score?? no...oh well. going to the game again on thursday with my dad and rebecca. i can't wait to see my daddy, i miss him a lot. i think i'm getting a little sick from the rain delay/hanging out with that sick jude kid on friday...oh well...its all good...having some tea...yumarific...i probably have stuff on my mind but i don't feel like getting into it at the moment. well...rebecca is obsessed with pat burrell...and i'm laughing my ass off...<3

(schmoo)

almost summer=lots of list posts

if you read my blog at all last summer (on xanga) you'll know that i made a lot of what my dear friend corrine called "poem posts." they basically consist of me listing things, and not making complete sentances...i think they're really fun.

so...

yay for:
buttercup cupcakes
cu-ddling
talking to a half drunken erik (and his random friends) on the phone
the word "schmoo" (i'm not sure where i got it or what it means, its just fun)
walking around half naked because no one else is around
one month (actually five whole weeks) with a great guy
the fact that mitch might be coming next weekendddd(that'd be wicked cool)
a small envelope full of mementos (not mentos...the freshmaker) on my desk
phillies playing the mets @ shea this week

k...i think that's it...no negatives...because i'm in a good mood...

ps...SCHMOO...and cheese

<3you